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  FINGLAS    V’s    COOLOCK      Saturday27^th of April

Finglas FC took on Coolock town in what was to be a great battle in Belcamp Park on Saturday the 27^th of April. The clash of these two teams ended in 1-1 draw a fair result as neither team deserved to loose. Coolock are a team that cant afford to loose any points as they are sitting in first position of the league with the only threat coming from Frankfort FC. Having said that Frankfort, for some reason that remains unknown to me, have five games in hand and it has to be said they face an up hill battle having to win all five of their matches to get on even terms with Coolock.

Finglas are a very enjoyable team to watch. They always put on a great show playing with a lot of heart and spirit. Finglas never argue among themselves, they constantly encourage each other through the game no matter what the circumstances. Coolock are also an impressive team to watch because of their communication, which is why they have succeeded in securing so many points this season.

The first half was good the second half was better. The first ended 0-0 the second half ended 1-1 with an excellent goal from Derek Aherne, my man of the match, and Coolock got a well deserved goal 2 minutes before the final whistle…. NUFF SAID…. I have a pain in me arse writing these reports so this week it’s just going to be General Topics of Finglas FC.

The lotto this week was a complete farce with shag all tickets being handed in. But it has to be stated that I gave a sigh of utter relief when I realised that there was no training on Tuesday night so “Moaning Murray”, the lotto organiser, wasn’t able to annoy everybody with his constant droning about the lack of tickets sold. Not that we don’t all appreciate your hard work Darren. Personally I feel the lotto is a good idea and if it were conducted properly we would earn a fortune from it. I know some people feel differently, for instance, “old man Jameson” would rather hand in his subs of a tenner a week to save himself the hassle of these wretched things that Finglas FC has burdened on us to sell each week. Another person against the idea of the selling the tickets is Colm Mullen also know as “Burt” from the popular TV series Sesame St. He seems to think that handing in a tenner a week would also be a better solution to Finglas FC’s financial situation. Although he has never once handed in a tenner or the correct amount of lottery tickets. Thus giving him the status of the “Shambag of Finglas FC” which stops him from ever having an opinion worth listening to. Supporters of the lotto are often the people who find it easy to sell the tickets. For example our very captain, Brian Keenan, who walks into his house with his lotto tickets on a Tuesday and has them snatched by eager sisters who often buy the whole lot of them straight away, fighting over who gets the last one. It has even occurred that Siobhan, Brian’s sister, takes them to work and sells the poxy tickets for Brian. Otherwise Brian can take them into his job where hundreds of people work and sell them to different people each week. Although it seems like “Dave Pennie” is now a regular buyer (just thought you deserved a mention Dave). The bottom line is these so-called “supporters of the lotto”, who crusade against people who miss the odd week, never ever have to fork a tenner or more out of their own money for the tickets.

Another issue that has arisen is the rumoured resignation of our manager Pat Dunphy. Dunphy has hinted at his unbalanced football life leaving him no free time but has never stated clearly to the team that his time had come to move on. Dunphy is often known drop into a casual conversation the fact that his own club Vianny Boys want him to manage the second team. Personally I would question the reward a man would get from taking over a previously well-trained and experienced team like the second team. One would more play the role of a “team guide” than a real manager. Surely taking a team of unfit, inexperienced, no-hopers like Finglas FC and turning them into a half decent structured soccer team would leave a man such as Dunphy a much stronger feeling of accomplishment. At the moment everything is just speculation but I cant help feeling if we made Dunphy more at home somehow, perhaps if we gave him a nick name like “Gaffer” he would stay for another few seasons. However Finglas FC must realise it is a lot to ask as “Gaffers” schedule is very tight and he doesn’t have any time for himself. So what ever decision u arrive at “gaffer” we will respect it and on behalf of the team can I take the honour of saying we promise not to beat the lard out of you and make boogie phone calls to your parents house 7 days a week at 5 in the morning if you leave.  

The only other scandal I can think of is the very controversial player Andy Ekwe. Last Sunday he was assigned the job of lottery conductor but at the last second he popped into the bar in martins and excused himself from his responsibility. This job is passed from player to player each week. It involves calling out the numbers which are picked by the little grannies, because of their constant groaning about the lotto being fixed, and then checking through the tickets to make sure nobody won. This is the second time Andy Ekwe has escaped the job and so deserves to be slated for it. Andy I must admit the first time I saw you play I thought you were skilful and you were just what Finglas needed up front. Since then my opinion has changed. Although your opinion of yourself hasn’t. Andy it’s about time you realised the truth. You along with everybody else on the team have your faults. One of which is that you own the absolute girliest voice I have ever heard on a football pitch. Just to remind everybody, especially you Andy, that we have super striker coming down next season. Mick O Connor, brother of Lorcan O Connor our number 1 supporter, is due to sign a new contract with Finglas FC in the coming months. It is understood that Mick although born and bred in the poorer part of Cedarwood has many traits giving him the advantage over Ekwe. Mick’s all round strength and ability in the air is sure to land him in the starting 11 every time. However the biggest advantage Mick holds over Andy is he doesn’t sound like a girl.

I think I have said enough about scandals within the club.

There are no matches this weekend due to the bank holiday.

So till next time.

Reilly.